Amy Morby :: Designer :: Writer

ode to odelay. and beck.

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:10:27 +0000

keeping along with last week’s theme of music my brother gave me that changed my life, i’ve chosen the white thug life phenom, Beck, as today’s music you should know.

yes please.

brother ryan started me young with odelay and mellow gold, which are classics.

but this one will forever be my favorite:

sea change is a stroke of genius. i’ve yet to find an album as brilliantly mellow yet startlingly impactful. (i’m being told impactful isn’t a word, but it fits here, so whatever.)

i love beck because white rhyming never sounded so phat. but then he can break it down too. kudos to you, sir beck.

a couple of my favs:

beck is one of those artists that i will love no matter what direction he takes. when they’ve been with you since you were 12, that kinda just happens.

enjoy.

my way, yoway, the highway

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:00:42 +0000

continuing my theme of “why didn’t i think of that?”

we ventured out to a new little frozen yogurt parlor down the street from us in sugarhouse called yoway.

best discovery of.my.life.

the business model is genius:

-a butt load of amazing self-serve fro yo flava flavs

-all the toppings you can possibly imagine, including cookie crisp and cap’n crunch

-$0.39 an ounce.

-build what you want, how you want it, for a mere $0.39 an ounce.

why didn’t i think of that?!

let’s just say all my fro yo dreams came true tonight.

you should go. in fact, i plan to go on saturday for my bday. come along. i dare you.

a monday of why didn’t i think of that?

admin — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:20:51 +0000

we watched punch drunk love last night. it was weird. but halfway through the show, mitch realized that he had heard the pudding plot somewhere before.

a little googling later, and we found this:

“David Phillips (born 1964), also called The Pudding Guy,^[1] is an American civil engineer best known for accumulating many frequent flyer miles by taking advantage of a promotion by Healthy Choice Foods in 1999 that which offered 500 miles for every 10 bar-code labels sent in by Dec. 31. An early-bird special offered double the mileage–1,000 miles for every 10 bar codes submitted by May 31.

Phillips calculated that the return on a mail-in food promotion outweighed the price of the Healthy Choice frozen entrees. He later discovered the same promotion also included individual pudding packages at 25 cents a piece. He subsequently visited ten grocery stores in the Sacramento area, buying every case of pudding available, in the end, totaling 12,150 individual servings of pudding,^[2] for $3,140.^[3] In order to divert attention, he claimed he was stocking up for Y2K.^[4] The details of the promotion included a bonus if the packages were mailed during the month of May 1999; Phillips, unable to remove all the UPC codes himself in such a short time, recruited members of the Salvation Army to help peel the UPC codes off the puddings in exchange for the donation of the pudding.^[5]

In May 1999, Phillips received 1,253,000 frequent flyer miles, enough for thirty-one round trips from his home in California to Europe, 50 roundtrip flights anywhere in the United States, 21 trips to Australia and back, or 31 trips to Europe–worth, by Phillips’ count, as much as $150,000.

Since he gave most of the pudding to charity, Phillips also received a $815 tax write-off.^[4]”

wikipedia source

why didn’t i think of that?

because winter isn’t gone yet

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:50:01 +0000

fine. i’ll accept it. it’s not spring yet. but let it be noted that that was not fair, mother nature, but whatever. just make sure it’s gone by tonight, ya?

that being said, it’s a things that must go friday.

1. dr. martens

just because you spent $90 on them in 1995 doesn’t mean you have to keep wearing them. and just because they don’t look “worn out” doesn’t mean they ever will–5″ soles of rubber tend to not wear out–but that still doesn’t mean you have to keep wearing them. oh, and just because they were your mission shoes and you tracted 18 bajillion doors wearing them and you see them as this massive mormon status symbol, that definitely doesn’t mean you should keep wearing them. sure, keep them as a little keepsake, but for crying out loud–stop wearing dr. martens.

unless you want to look like a 35-year-old mormon daddy that served a mission in mexico and now has a job as an engineer, still loves collective soul, has 4 kids, and an overly happy wife. then i guess you could pull them off. just sayin’.

2. velour track suits

similar story. just because you spent $150 on one at victorias secret 5 years ago, doesn’t mean you have to keep wearing it. and just because you have one in every color…

doesn’t mean you should keep wearing them. even if your bum is juicy, don’t tell us so via velour tracksuit. let’s leave these to porn producers and women with actual booties, i.e., j-lo, beyonce, and amy morby.

3. advertising with your children

i don’t care if your kid is cute-and most likely if you’re using them to advertise, they’re NOT cute-but either way, i’m not buying it. to me, this doesn’t say, hey, he’s a “dependable” and maybe “reliable” and even “family friendly” plumber. rather, this says to me, “i’m comfortable exploiting my children to sell my crappy plumbing business.”

4. days we’ve been married counters

are you kidding me? who cares how long you’ve been married? oooh you’ve been married for 1 year, 14 weeks, 2 days, and 18 hours. pin a rose on your nose.

kill me.

5. ridiculous gas station convenience store names

why does every gas station convenience store have to have a name? rainbo mart. fast stop. on the run. and my personal fav, kum n’ go.

is this absolutely necessary? i vote no.

since it’s snowing outside and we could all use a little humor to get through it, here are a couple of WINS! for your TTMG viewing pleasure.

it’s a group shot of dogs in wheelchairs. it’s funny.

here’s amateur photography at its finest. i put this in here because i believe awesome amateur photography has made the TTMG list before. here’s a great example.

i would like to personally meet and thank whoever did this to this vending machine. a little Ice-T? yes please.

and lastly, a classic prank gone horribly awry.

have a good weekend, suckas!

a gasp & a love affair

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:15:45 +0000

“is she really going to write another post about shopping?”

yes. yes i am.

“why does she shop so much?”

don’t worry. it’s budgeted.

even if it wasn’t, it would have been blasphemous to not snag these absolutely brilliant shoes:

“is that a t-stap + oxford + kitten heel?”

yep.

and what you can’t see is that they’re champagne with an incredible cracked, antiquey effect.

i audibly gasped in the store when i found them.

$12, suckas. 12 very well spent dollars.

it’s little shopping adventures like this that make me think, who needs a job when you can just shop?

pa ha. funny joke.

ps–i also picked up this little gem for my kitchen. as if i needed more knick knacks, right mitch?

the littlest things make me the most blissfully happy.

little fives

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:14:59 +0000

five things to do before i die:
1. see radiohead live
2. live in europe
3. write a book
4. meet paul mccartney
5. find a satisfying career

five things that make me infinitely happy:
1. a brand new big gulp of diet coke right out of the fountain
2. when mitch comes home
3. wes anderson movies
4. finishing a brilliant book
5. finding an incredible 70s piece at a thrift store for under $10

five things about myself i plan to revolutionize:
1. negativity
2. a crippled but recovering body image
3. happiness devoid of external factors
4. more spontaneity
5. less caution

five movies that you are sorely missing out on if you haven’t seen them:
1. royal tenenbaums
2. darjeeling limited
3. life aquatic with steve zissou
4. little miss sunshine
5. rushmore

five reasons to run away in a vanagon:
1. me and mitch need to blow this joint. life sucks right now.
2. they have ovens. ovens!
3. i have the perfect fabric in mind for its curtains
4. it’s time to embark on our search for the best sandwich in america
5. why wouldn’t you run away in a vanagon?

five people i want to meet:
1. jimi hendrix. duh.
2. john lennon
3. jenny lewis
4. john steinbeck
5. oprah. (don’t hate. she might give me something free.)

five albums that changed my life:

pa ha. there’s six. sue me.

five reasons mitch is the coolest kid you know:
1. he lets me bring home as much crap from savers as i want. that’s love, suckas.
2. arm scratches unparalleled
3. he built a computer and made me a website. c’mon.
4. that hair. i melt.
5. brilliant yet hopelessly romantic

five foods i want in my body right now:
1. indian oven chicken masala
2. zupa’s ultimate grilled cheese and tomato soup. i would pay you good money to take me there right now.
3. la puente smothered burrito with rice n’ beans
4. logan burger fries
5. co’nut cupcakes

five things i absolutely despise doing:
1. cleaning bathrooms
2. cleaning anything
3. organizing
4. job hunting. just hire me!
5. cooking (let me just clarify that it’s not cooking in and of itself; it’s the expensive groceries and awful clean-up that inevitably come with cooking. just sayin’.)

five frivolous things i’ll do today to try and stay positive:
1. go to the weird home store inside of tj maxx. i want a chalkboard decal, dangit!
2. read my book club book
3. learn to french braid. (i grew up with hair-inept sisters. i never learned.)
4. google image dog in wheelchair
5. post this blog

farmer morby

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:16:48 +0000

sometimes when you get spring fever, you just need a little farm in your life.

mohawk duck. he’s hardcore like that.

i plan to take the baby lambs home. i’m not sure how to pull that off, but i’d like to.

keep it comin’, springtime.

modest mouse

admin — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:00:06 +0000

thank you, brother ryan, for that first modest mouse album at age 12. amazing how influential it was. i blame it and the radiohead album that came with it for my musical snobbery.

possibly one of my fav music videos ever. i dare you to watch it and love it.

modest mouse seems to creep up in my musical repertoire at odd times in my life. times when i need something incredibly different, refreshing…maybe even something a little blasphemous. they never let me down. something about the following song especially tickles my blasphemous bone. i luff it. so muchly.

enjoy.

dear march

admin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:11:37 +0000

thank you for finally arriving.

it’s been awhile. i look forward to turning 23 with you.

let’s shoot for a job this month, ya?

things will work out.

things always work out in march.

let’s try to be a little more patient, a little kinder to yourself, and a lot more optimistic.

maybe you could help me learn french for reals this time.

or maybe we could just watch amelie a lot instead.

whatever happens, let’s forget about january and february. suckers.

i’m sure we can keep on keepin’ on.

after all,

things will work out.

things always work out in march, right?

you really grind my gears

admin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:57:41 +0000

this friday is muchly needed. after a week of waiting with baited breath to hear back on a job….

i’m still waiting.

which really grinds my gears, peter griffin.

here’s another list of things that grind my gears.

1. old ladies that wear tank tops

this is a phenomenon that was first introduced to me at usu. i had a professor. she loved tank tops. she loved tank tops in the winter. she loved tank tops in the spring. she loved them always.

it wasn’t like she had a nasty body. in fact, she had better arms than most of us, but she was over 35. 35 isn’t old, but for the love of all things sartorial, wear some sleeves. (cough…kelly rippa…cough.) and i find it’s mostly business women that like to rock this style. and it usually involves a turtleneck. wtf? a tank top turtleneck? it’s just unprofessional or weird or i don’t know what–it’s just…old lady arms. cover them up. especially in professional settings.

i can’t find a good picture of a business woman tank top, but here’s kind of what i’m talking about. it’s just wrong.

***update! i found a picture!***

that is EXACTLY what i am talking about here, kids. there’s no way you don’t agree with me. no way.

2. jillian michaels

she might be a man. in fact, 90% of my spidey senses confirm this is true.

it was bad enough having her on biggest loser, but now she’s on infomercials all day long invading my couch time with her husky man voice demands to lose weight now with her new cleanse or nordic track treadmill!

i don’t trust trannies, jillian.

3. public service announcements

does anyone really watch these? or more importantly, does anyone actually watch these and feel moved to action?

my personal favorite is the national guard previews that have taken over dollar theater previews.

or the old school “the more you know” PSA’s.

but actually, nothing is better than “family: isn’t it about…..time?”

4. lol

your 1995 aol chat room called. it wants its phrase back.

5. lobsterfest at red lobster

i feel like it’s always lobsterfest at red lobster. and i feel like these commercials telling me that it’s “that time of year again” are deceiving. when does lobsterfest end or begin? it doesn’t! i smell a conspiracy.

ps, who even goes to red lobster? weirdos.

of course, what would a things that must go post be without a weekly WIN! brought to you by awkward family photos?

absolutely stunning.

and just because i’m so sick of this week of my utter discontent, here’s another one of my all-time favorite WINS!. i’ve posted this before, but that was when me and maybe mitch read my blog, so here it is again. (marci, i will always love you for bringing this to my attention.)

if you never watch videos that i post, at least watch this one. it will get your weekend started right…and that feels great! ooooh!!!

see you monday.