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10 Things I’ll Never Do

1. I will never be great at anything tiny. That is, crocheting, hand sewing, advanced lego builds, cross stitching, and/or anything having to do with things small enough to get caught in your fingernail.

2. I will never go to my high school reunion. No way, man. I will not Rory and Michelle that bitch. ALL THE ANXIETY.

3. I will never get Lasik. I like wearing glasses far too much. I’ve worn them since 2nd grade, which I think is total grounds for permanent bespectacledness.

4. I will never finish reading Anna Karenina. I’ve tried 4 solid times and failed miserably every time. Yes, I am a failure as an English major, and Professor Engler is devastated. Sorry, man. Can’t do it.

5. I will never like cucumbers. I used to eat those 24 hours a day (exaggeration) when I was sick back in the day, and to this day, they conjure bad vibes of starvation and deprivation. EAT FOOD, GUYS. IT’S SO GOOD FOR YOU.

6. Along those same lines, I will never ever ever ever stop telling women to love themselves. Self-love renegade up in here. Can’t stop won’t stop. Get on this self-love body acceptance train or get out, dudes.

7. I will never rest in my quest for the perfect eyebrows. The secret is I have a secret pinboard dedicated to bushy eyebrows and perfectly arched eyebrows. I’m obsessed. Also, I compliment people on their eyebrows all the time, and it’s always awkward. Except for the gelato maker at my old grocery store in Utah. He was FIERCE, and I made sure he knew it. He did. But still. Best brows of all time.

8. I will never stop sweating. I swear to God. I’m cursed to an endless existence of above-normal body temperature. Or something. It’s October 22, and STILL too hot for me in Seattle. 63 degrees isn’t cutting it. Give me 35 degrees or give me death.

9. I will never get enough RuPaul’s Drag Race. Every season is too short, and every season is too far apart. Ru, can we bump up that production schedule plz? kthx.

10. I will never stop loving cereal. Apple Jacks, Vanilla Chex, Frosted Cheerios, Life. You can’t stop me. Neither can high fructose corn syrup, large doses of sugar, and health food propaganda. Cereal whore ’til I die.

Now here are the rest of the Victoria shenanigans. That boat taxi is and will always be the cutest boat on this planet. No contest. Game over. Deal with it.

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Things you’ll never do? Let’s hear it.

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curiosity vs. passion

Here’s an Elizabeth Gilbert quote that got me to thinking:

“We are constantly being told to pursue our passions in life, but there are times when passion is a TALL ORDER, and really hard to reach. In seasons of confusion, of loss, of boredom, of insecurity, of distraction, the idea of “passion” can feel completely inaccessible and impossible. In such times, you are lucky to be able to get your laundry done (that sometimes feels as high as you can aim) and when someone tells you to follow your passion, you want to give them the middle finger. (Go ahead and do it, by the way. But wait till their back is turned, out of civility.)

But curiosity, I have found, is always within reach.

Passion is a tower of flame, but curiosity is a tiny tap on the shoulder — a little whisper in the ear that says, “Hey, that’s kind of interesting…”

Passion is rare; curiosity is everyday.

Curiosity is therefore a lot easier to reach at at times than full-on passion — and the stakes are lower, easier to manage.

The trick is to just follow your small moments of curiosity. It doesn’t take a massive effort. Just turn your head an inch. Pause for a instant. Respond to what has caught your attention. Look into it a bit. Is there something there for you? A piece of information?”

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I heard this quote on my way home from a particularly discouraging day at my new job.

I had writers block. I froze. Totally choked when it counted. At least it felt that way just because I woke up on the shit snacks side of the bed. And to be clear, that’s the side of the bed that involves feeling like shit about yourself. It started when there was a hole in my sweater. And then my deodorant fell on the floor and got white residue everywhere. And my eyebrows weren’t pencilling in just right. And on the way to work, I kept playing chicken with everyone when I was crossing the bustling streets. I didn’t know how to work the coffee machine at work, and I had about 63 awkward interactions with people just because I’m awkward. Why am I so awkward? It’s tough to be shy, amiright???

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I was my own little saboteur from the second that horrendous harp iPhone alarm started rattling my sleep-addled brain. I let in the fear, and I let my inner critic get to me. That stinker. He’s always getting to me, telling me I’m a terrible writer.

So then Elizabeth Gilbert hops on the TED Radio Hour to discuss creativity. And passion vs. curiosity. And it occurred to me that maybe I wasn’t up for my writing passion so much right now as much as I was just up for a little curiosity. It IS my passion–in fact, I saw an article today listing me as a “basic bitch” for having a punctuation tattoo. You know. Because I’m THAT serious about grammar. Joke’s on you, internet haters, because I AM that serious about grammar! NOW SUCK ON THAT! I live for writing. But sometimes, that passion backfires into crushing self-doubt that I’ll never be a good enough writer to live UP to that passion.

So today, I’ll just take a little writing curiosity. I’ll take it easy. I’ll let me writing mind wander where it wants to go. Because that seems much more manageable in this time of insecurity.

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Weird post and deep thoughts. Thoughts on curiosity vs. passion? GO!

PS–the Victoria trip photos continue! This was the breakwater path thingy, which was awesooooome. I saw wild jellyfish! Not aquarium jellyfish, like this land-locked lady is used to. REAL ONES. MAGIC.

latrice

everybody say love

Today was a horrible day.

I felt out of place.
Stupid.
Unintelligent.
Incompetent.
Embarrassed.
And lonely.

Just a reminder to lift up your fellow sisters. Be kind to each other. Support each other. Don’t shame each other. We’re all in it together, yeah?

source

And just for good measure:

latrice

Tomorrow’s another day. Here’s to a do-over on Tuesday and a week filled with confidence for all of you!