
I hinted last week that I had a big project coming up, and today's the big day. To all my dear readers, welcome to the revolution--the month of self love. Yes, I am dedicating February entirely to self love--learning to fight insecurity, love yourself, and start living in the moment.
Why dedicate an entire month to self love? Because it's a subject that is hugely near and dear to my heart. Today I'm going to be completely open with you and share a story with you that's hard to tell. I'm doing it only because I believe the blogging world needs a sense of realism. I believe that we are all getting swept up in a weird cloud of perfection where everyone is kittens and rainbows and smiles all the time. We are falling into a weird state of envy and jealousy that comes out in negative anonymous comments and harsh expectations on ourselves.
So, in an effort to bring back some realism to blogging, here's why I'm dedicating February to self love.
I am a recovering anorexic.
I have been in recovery for 6 years now. After wasting nearly my entire teenage life to the disease, I spent half of my senior year of high school in the hospital with a food tube shoved down my nose. I missed out on what should have been the most carefree years of my teenage life wasting away and fighting a disease that I wish I never would have brought into my life.
The battle continued on to college, where I was forced to drop out of my first year at Utah State. Instead of spending time with my roommates and living the stereotypical college life, I dropped all my classes, packed up my stuff, threw it into my car, and sobbed the entire 2-hour drive home. I landed in an in-patient rehab for 6 months where I was completely shaken to my core. A deeply rooted hatred for self loathing and what has become the feminine ideal was instilled in me there, and I have dedicated my entire life to fighting it.
I saw mothers taken away from their children to fight a disease that had stolen over 30 years of their lives. I saw 13-year-old girls, starving and freezing, crying in therapy thinking they would never be good enough. I saw women of all ages turn into complete monsters and liars as the disease consumed them, doing completely irrational things they never would do in their right mind. Ultimately, I saw an entire generation of young women wasting their lives fighting what seems to be a losing battle.
So, six years later out of rehab almost to the day, here I am begging you to join a cause that I have proclaimed my personal crusade.
Love yourself.
Fight your insecurities. Embrace who you are. Commit to a life of self love and living in the moment because who you are is all you've got. Refuse to give in to what the world thinks it means to be a woman and be yourself--fully and wholeheartedly.
February is National Eating Disorder Awareness Month, and while I am too close to the disease to get more involved, I can at least dedicate a month on my blog to spreading the word of self love. I share my story with you ONLY to tell you that life is too short to spend hating yourself. I wish every single day that I could have the decade I spent with the disease back and that I could redo it all and make it better. I tell you my story so that you can learn from my mistake and not waste your life--the ONE life you have--in self pity and misery.
I tell you my story because I'm angry--because I strongly feel that eating disorders can no longer go unnoticed. It's not a joke, it's not a girl thing to hate yourself, it's NOT NORMAL. It's a disease, it's deadly, and it can't continue to steal our lives. I tell you my story because I want to raise awarness--I want the world to know that women will no longer stand for negative body image and self hatred. It's time to stand up for ourselves and start a revolution.
So, dear readers, tomorrow marks the start of my month of self love. An entire month filled with posts dedicated to positivity. I've got some great guest posts lined up with all kinds of DIYs, tips, and overall uplifting content. It would mean the world to me to have you join me in my cause, so tomorrow, I'm going to have a "Declaration of Independence" of sorts for you to join in. I'm super excited about it, and I hope you will be, too!
In the meantime, if you'd like to spread the word of self love with me, here's a badge you can place on your blogs.
Thank you so much for letting me share my story with you. I am SO excited for this month, and I genuinely hope that it will uplift you and inspire you to love yourself. Come back tomorrow for the official big launch! Can't wait.
**PLEASE NOTE: As much as I would love to hear your personal experiences with eating disorders, I am still INCREDIBLY sensitive to the topic. 6 years of recovery doesn't mean I'm cured, so please, as a courtesy to me and others, refrain from sharing personal details about EDs, including numbers, behaviors, ANYTHING. It's so easy to say triggering things, so I would appreciate your help in advance for helping me in keeping this a positive environment for everyone. THANK YOU!**
