Category Archives: Things That Must Go

Well wouldn't you know it. It's FINALLY Friday. Even though it was only a 4-day work week, it felt like a bajillion-day work week thanks to a nasty cold, and this weekend could not possibly be more welcome.

On that note, let's get pleasantly cranky and make a little ttmg fun.

1. long book chapters

Why you gotta make your chapters 100 pages long? Some people read books on lunch break and need a reasonable stopping point, know what I'm sayin? I know your book is important and all, but c'mon. A little stopping point here and there doesn't negate your intelligence. I promise.

2. people who don't pay attention to green arrows

So here's how it is. When you're the first one in line at the left turn green arrow, you have a moral responsibility to everyone behind you to pay attention to that light. A very serious moral responsibility. And this serious moral responsibility should never be taken lightly. Your text/phone call is not as important as my need to get through this green arrow in a timely fashion. Seriously. A HUGE moral responsibility.

3. illegible captchas

I know you're trying to keep the robots from taking over the world with spam, but woah. I think only robots can read illegible captchas, so you're kind of missing the point on that one.

See what I'm talking about?

That's all I have for today, so let's hear what grind your gears. Please? With only 3 ttmg from me today readers everywhere are crying for more ttmg so please, please, PLEASE comment and gimme yours. Stalkers, lurkers, and lovers alike.

And this week's WIN! is in honor of awful drivers that don't pay attention at green lights.

and also this guy who is REALLY excited about being a republican treasurer. Love you, republicans.

Happy weekend!

When God created long weekends, I like to think he made them just for me. That being said, it's a TTMG Friday.

1. Heat

Omg. I'm so over summer. I was over summer the second it reached 85 degrees. And when i started wanting to kill everyone the second i walked outside. No thanks, mother earth. But yes to sweaty Fabio and tigers in the summer.

2. Ringback tones

Or whatever they're called. I remember when I had Verizon back in the day they called them that. But seriously. Ok miss 2003. We know you love Taylor swift, but I sure don't whenever I call you.

3. Public bathroom soap

Did I just wash my hands with sandpaper? Crappy-baby-powder-meets-acid-smelling sand paper? I think I did. But if it came out of a nose, then I might be ok with it. Just sayin.

4. Bees

Bees are mean. And summer just encourages them. I know they make honey and pollenate and all that science crap, but I'm over honey. And science. And bees.

5. Safari Mercedes/Landrovers

I know there are a lot of zebra and lions running amuck in the dry sahara of the Utah plains, but could yo keep your safari edition SUV in the jungle and not in the asphalt of the gym parking lot and Utah suburbs? Because you look like an idiot.

And this week brings a couple of WINS! brought to you in part by Riley Onyon in celebration of the beautiful long weekend that lies ahead:

I once got some nunchucks for Christmas. It was the best Christmas of my life.

monorail llama. or is it? sea lion/llama/manatee?

Does this mean I can give up the stupid gym for good? Yes!

and this last video is dedicated to Mitchell who braves the public bus system each and every day.

turns out i couldn't be any more excited that today is friday. you know what a weekend means? it means all the time in the world to sew. uninterrupted. and that's just good news for everyone.

better news, though, is that it's a ttmg friday. thanks to those champs who commented and left me their ttmg items. this one's lovingly dedicated to you. so special right now.

1. public workout regimens (a la laura. and me.)

alright. we've gone over this one before, but laura is right. it deserves repeating because good grief...nobody cares. i'm glad that you find facebook a suitable venue for you personal ego boost. and it's great that you feel great after your trainer worked your ass at the gym. and hey, it's even great that you're rich and can afford the trainer and love to tell us about it. you know what else is great? that you work out in sports bras and THEN tell us about how awesome it was. you really are special but let's keep the specialness to yourself.

meanwhile, i'm going to go eat a sugar cookie, sit on my couch, and watch mad men. take that. thanks, laura.

2. overzealous cyclists (via randi and jenny)

hey, it's cool that you're going green and staying fit and loving the earth and your body and life, but, could you do that all in the special bike lane? instead of my lane? i know you're super cool in your sponsored spandex spectacular uniform, and i know you paid with your firstborn child for that super awesome road bike, but hey...i've got two tons of steel versus you, so...let's be responsible. also, if you're going to share the road, then that probably means you have to obey the same rules i do. so quit weaving and running read lights and being sneaky. because you can't sneak past me.

however, all of the above is retracted if you're this guy. then you can gladly have my lane.

a small disclaimer is due here. should any of my lovely cyclist loving coworkers read this, please note that this is not directed at you. i know you are responsible cyclists and follow rules and love life.

3. hummers

you are so cool. i know. and i know you need your ego stroked. but i have some bad news. you look like an idiot cruisin through the streets of utah as a white man. just sayin.

also, this picture has nothing to do with hummers per say, BUT....it kind of goes along with it. and i love it because it's pretty spot on. i bet he drives a hummer.

4. jaywalkers (a la mitchell morby)

the streets of downtown utah are rough. it's pretty much the school of hard knocks out here. so much crime. so much poverty. who can be bothered with using crosswalks?

seriously, though. c'mon. you're like savages out here. let's be civilized, classy people. it's not that hard. and this is such a tiny city. pretty sure you can walk 2 feet farther and use the crosswalk.

and if you have to jaywalk, at least do it when there's no cars around. and at least walk a little bit faster. and at least don't drag your stroller and three other small children into the street with you and then stand on the median looking like idiots. i mean, i love slowing down for you in the middle of the road and getting rear ended, but, there must be a better way.

and this week's WIN! is brought to you by this sassy family who want to wish you a happy and safe weekend.

also, just because i love vans so much these days...you should always respect the van.

i bet the westy could do that. easily.

as always, please, please, please submit your ttmg to me. it makes it oh so much more fun for all involved.

thanks for reading, and sean connery says, have a happy friday!