this video is making me infinitely happy today. but then again, when have the beatles not made me infinitely happy? kudos to you, beatles, for making my life worth living.

happy friday, everyone! we’re off to bear lake and llama fest this weekend. should be epic!

“is she really going to write another post about how much she loves teal?”

yes. i am.

i’m obsessed with all things teal, like this print:

and this absolutely incredible dress. wowzas. please to have?

this one would be great, too. why not both?

these boots? yes please.

this teal room. someday!

gimme this polish:

don’t be surprised should you come to my stinky house one of these days and find it draped in luscious shades of varying teals. obsessed! i am!

happy thursday. we’re headed to bear lake this weekend for the first trip in the westy. holla!

like this cookie.

sprinkles always preferred. and sometimes when you eat this cookie, you feel like it might be the best cookie of your entire life. and maybe even sometimes you eat this cookie and feel like you want to roll over and die because it’s so good and nothing will ever be as good as it so you might as well just die now as the happiest girl in america.

said feeling happened to me when i ate aforementioned cookie two days ago. let’s just say i haven’t been the same since.

and sometimes, you just have to head to a small town to hang out with old friends. and when you do this, you sometimes see quaint scenes that make you feel like you wish you could live in a summery breeze of a small town for the rest of your life.

and then there are times when you take pictures of clouds that make you either want to eat cotton candy or learn to time travel just in case time traveling looks like this whilst the traveling happens.

and yes, i do imagine that time traveling would look like this, and if it doesn’t, i’ll be sorely disappointed.

but most of the time you just need a ride in the westy with the windows down and the pod tuned to nick drake’s pink moon or neil young’s harvest up and down the asphalt and neon and ghetto of state street with your hair being blown into a million little nests of snarls made pleasant by the summer’s twilight breeze.

summer is good. the little things are good. feeling infinite is good.

i’m addicted to feeling infinite these days. and i’m glad that i feel infinite enough times to develop that crazy cockamamie addiction.

life is good. and the summer has only just begun, kids.

if you love neil diamond, then you love him for all his sweet jewish body is worth.

if you secretly love listening to lady gaga (not that i do, but if you did…i wouldn’t see anything wrong with it. but i don’t listen to her. right? what? leave me alone.) then you should listen to lady gaga, dagnabbit.

who invented the idea that you should feel ashamed for something you like, anyway? who decided there was some universal consensus to what’s cool and what’s not, and if you like something outside of that proverbial norm, you should label it a “guilty pleasure” and keep it under wraps?

my favorite musings on the lie that is the guilty pleasure comes from sir klosterman himself. i think he put it best in his thoughts on watching the ashlee simpson show:

“Let’s assume that I was somehow humiliated by the fact that I watched The Ashlee Simpson Show, which is something I did almost every week for two months. I think it’s a fascinating illustration of what’s wrong with young people, how the music industry operates, and how modern celebrities aspire to view themselves. But let’s pretend this wasn’t the case. Let’s say I considered this program a guilty pleasure, and let’s say my desire to watch Ashlee explain how her boyfriend ruined Valentine’s Day was something I needed to apologize for. Wouldn’t this imply that The Ashlee Simpson Show was my conscious alternative to something better? Wouldn’t this suggest that—were I not watching The Ashlee Simpson Show—I would be working on logarithms, or studying the lin- er notes of out-of-print jazz records, or searching for factual errors in The Economist? Because these are not things I do, and I don’t think many of the other 2.9 million people watching Ashlee Simpson every Wednesday do these things, either. We’re not losing the battle against cancer because of Ashlee Simpson. If we weren’t watching her pretend to be sexy, we’d probably just be going to the bar earlier.”
source

sorry. i know it’s long, but it’s funny. and true. what wouldn’t i be listening to while running if not lady gaga? classical music? the most obscure indie buzz band that pitchfork is telling me to like? sometimes you just need a little gaga while working on your fitness, alright? and it’s true. we label things as guilty pleasures because we feel like there’s something “better” we should be doing. but why not just fess up to liking something because you like it?

anyway….all of this is just to say that i hate the term guilty pleasure. and i’m not ashamed to say that yes, i do enjoy the following:

that’s right. ABBA. naked. in foil.

if you say you don’t like beyonce, you’re lying. clearly.

i’ve said it once, and i’ll say it again. m. mcdonald.

best part about unemployment? the tyra show.
other shows in this category: real world, maury, and i didn’t know i was pregnant.

and one of mitch’s guilty delights:

the woodwright’s shop with roy underhill.

what? you think you’re too cool for any of these things? you’re not. nobody is. that’s why guilty pleasures don’t exist.

just sayin’.

i’m sorry!

don’t hate me. i’ll be back next week.

if it’s any consolation, the job is incredible. absolutely incredible. 27″ iMac. on my desk. we are madly in love.

i would love it if we did something a little different though–maybe you could post your own ttmg in the comments, and then next week, we’ll have a very special viewers like you edition that will be huge to make up for this week’s slackage. do it. there’s nothing in it for you but my love and respect.

to tide you ever, here’s a quick little WIN!

happy weekend!

the ads were overall lame sauce, but there were a couple that warranted a giggle. and perhaps a second watch.

this one made me laugh. according to hulu it wasn’t that popular, but i secretly loved it. and it made me want pop secret even though popcorn smells like nasty college roommates that can never seem to make popcorn without burning it. you know who you are.

the prestigious and elusive title of amy’s fav SB commercial, however, easily goes to audi. mostly because this is legitimately how i feel every time i forget my stupid reusable bags at the grocery store and the gnarly dread-be-locked hippie gives me a nasty look of distrust.

ps: dear santa, birthday santa, leprechaun, easter bunny, or other assorted givers of gifts–we want one.

worst commercials? megan fox in the bathtub. pointless. and the godaddy commercials. really? a nascar driver? that’s supposedly too hot for tv? way to know your demographic i guess. but are testosterone crazed, buffalo wing gluttoned, football lovers really ones to buy hosting service for their nerdy websites? i’m willing to bet a big fat no.

happy sunday. good luck with your monday. feel free to drop on by to my den of unemployment and laptop sloth.

If all goes according to plan, we’ll be picking up a delightful black cat with a little white splash on her tail from the humane society on Saturday.

I luff her.

The only conundrum between me and cathood at this point is choosing a name.

I choose Rita, as in Lovely Rita Meter Maid a la Beatles.

Mitch chooses Sukie, as in Sukie in the Graveyard a la Belle & Sebastian.

I like both, but I still like Rita better. Votes are greatly appreciated.

wtf, where do fruit flies come from? we have one banana in the kitchen for cryin’ out loud, and all the sudden there’s a fruit fly on my screen all up in my wordpress grill. eff.

so, things that must go.

1. Ryan and Ashleigh

Are you kidding me, America? wtf, nigel?! don’t tell me for one second that she just keeps getting better every week. I will punch you right.in.the.face. this couple is completely ridiculous. when someone justifies their crappy dancing by saing, “it’s really hard to lift my body. I’m just always lifting weights,” that’s a dealbreaker, ladies. c’mon, America. let’s vote them off this week so they can have nasty mormon sex back on the BYU campus and drink their muscle milk together.

2. facebook statuses about the weather

unless your name is Jenny Andrus or Laura Kramer (holla) and you say something really funny about the weather, then I don’t want to hear about it. we all know you hate winter. we all know it just really grinds your gears and crushes your soul. I wish it was summer too, but bad news: you live in Utah. just because we have a slight change in the weather patterns doesn’t mean we need to go jamming up my news feed with weathery angst. if you’ve got beef with the weather, then take it out on this scoundrel:

when it comes down to it, there’s really nothing else to be angry about in the forecast besides the fact that this pointy mongrel is dishing the bad news to you. now THAT you can facebook.

3. Levi Johnston

you Alaskan scallywag. you’re the next john and kate, mucking up my Entertainment Tonight viewing. seriously…every channel i turn to, there you are. I’ll cut you. pa ha for knocking up palin’s daughter, and pa ha on America for making you an insta-celeb. go, america!

4. droid vs. iphone biznass

all you technoturds on twitter just settle down. right now. can’t we just all be winners? do you really have to make such a big deal over what smartphone is going to kill the other smartphone? ps verizon–your commercials are lame. and i got news for you. my phone DOES do all those iDon’t things. It’s called jailbreaking suckas!!! pwn!

(pa ha on me for working at a computer store and blossoming into a nerd. I credit my husband, my job, and my love affair with Mac rumor sites.)

5. glee

whaaaaat is this show? seriously…someone please tell me when musicals became Fox fodder. No, really. I want to know what the appeal is in this show. Am I missing something? Is this really NOT High School Musical only sexified and minus zac efron? wtf? no zac?! maybe next season.

crap. I watch too much tv. make that a 6th thing that must go: tv glut.

this week’s WIN! brought to you by youtube phenom Scarlet (brought to my attention first by Jenny Andrus yeah baby)

and maybe another WIN! for your Friday pleasure. I dug this tender morsel up from my old blog. good times. lil c’ would be so proud of my stank.

I warn you, this may get a little long. If you’d like, just browse through the pictures. Or just move on to the next blog on your blog roll. Whatever works.

1.   People that dress up for embarkation day

Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of this incident, but on the first day of our cruise, we rode in a shuttle with a very large and very boisterous (euphemism alert) family that thought it was a really funny idea to dress up as the whole Gilligan’s Island crew. Yep. All of ‘em. Wigs and all. They even sang the song for us in the shuttle after we had flown for 10 hours straight through the middle of the night.

Luckily, once we get on the boat, we parted ways with the Gilligan monstrosity and made our way to our humble cabin where Mitch surprised me with some awesome first anniversary decorations.

and he gave me this killer locket. it’s almost as killer as arthur killer kane. if you don’t know who that is, look it up.

We sailed out of Miami, which is a pretty cool city. It IS where Dexter lives. I looked for Michael Hall everywhere but couldn’t find him. darn.

2. Elegant Evenings

Not cool. I’m on vacation for a reason. To wear sweatpants. Lots of them. And sleep. The last thing we all want to do on a cruise is dress up. Turns out, though, that elegant night is pretty much every old lady’s dream come true, and everyone gets REALLY into it. We’re talking opalescent taffeta, rhinestones, and matching clutches. Serious biz.

whatev. we did it anyway, but that doesn’t mean I liked it.

3. Humidity

This is the first time I’ve ever experienced 100% humidity. This is the first time I’ve ever felt so strongly about a thing that must go. Move it to the tip top of the list.

Our first port was in Cozumel where he headed over the mainland to see the ancient Mayan ruins at Telum. Easily the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Yes, it was 100 degrees with 100% humidity, and yes, I sweat 4x my body weight in salty mexi sweat, but it was still, hands down, the coolest day of my life.

why, yes, this picture with the Mayans DID cost $5. we <3 tourist traps.

4. large people that steal my seat on boats

Our second port was Grand Cayman–one of our favs. We did a tour that took us to Hell, a sea turtle farm, and swimming with sting rays.

Unfortunately, on the boat ride to swim with the rays, I had the pleasure of scooting over to make room for a very large and in charge chump, which quickly just turned into me losing my seat and leaving a half a cheek on the tiny bench. The best part was that he and his family just sat on the boat and watched while we all swam with the stingrays. Crazies.

this is hell. a really weird spot of random lava rock formations. it kinda does look like hell, but it’s definitely a tourist trap.

hangin’ with satan in cayman.

sorry the stingray ones are small. we took them with a really crappy underwater film camera, so these are scanned, and I don’t feel like cropping each one of them and then uploading them.

the stingrays were incredible. we took a 45 minuteish boat ride out to this sandbar in the middle of the caribbean sea. it was pretty much a picture straight out of a postcard. or movie. it was insanely gorgeous. most beaches that we went to on this trip were like that. incredible.

I also had some really cool videos to post, but this blog is really awesome and doesn’t let me post them because they’re “too big” along with all of my photos. just so you know, crappy wordpress installation, i’m pretty sure everyone that uses you doesn’t have to batch their photos to make them smaller and insert them all one at a time. thanks.

The videos are posted on facebook if you’re interested.

5. people that diss Jamaica

Our third and final port was Ocho Rios, Jamaica, my personal favorite of the trip. Unfortunately, a lot of the snooty cruise folk hated Jamaica because it was “too poor.” In fact, a lot of them just stayed on the boat all day instead of experiencing Jamaica. Epic, epic fail. Jamaica was amazing, and while it did smell like weed and weird fish, it was still the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.

We took a local tour for this one with this really funny local Jamaican. He knew pretty much everyone in the city and gave us a grand, cultural tour of the city.

this is dunns rivers falls–a crazy waterfall that is the premier attraction in Ocho Rios. People got in their bikinis and water shoes and actually hiked this thing. madness if you ask me.

Ocho Rios in all its glory.

lightin up. they say ganja is illegal here but….that’s far, far from the truth.

the coolest part of the tour was when our guide took us to hang out with his friends in this crazy fishing village. everything you’ve heard about jamaicans is true: they worship bob marley, they say “ya mon” regularly, and they’re all incredibly nice and laid back.

our funny tour guide holding a fish. it smelled gnarly kinda like the rasta dreads.

There you have it. Our trip in a things that must go nutshell. I apologize for the kinda crappy pics. Like I said, this blog makes it extremely difficult to upload, so see facebook for more, probably better photos.

this week’s WIN! is brought to you by this Halloween costume:

in honor of the most bizarre and random story ever. I woke up from my cabin nap one day on the ship to this breaking story. i at first felt shocked, then a little confused, and then just downright silly inside. most.random.story.ever.

if you made it to the end of this epic post, then thanks for reading. I appreciate you. And hey, if you have a thing that must go, comment and let me know so I can add it to the list next week.

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