50% olympic edition, 50% saucy

not gonna lie. i’m pretty intense about the olympics right now. what’s weird is that i hate sports. and honestly, hate isn’t even a strong enough word. but there’s something about the olympics this year. maybe it’s the fact that i’m unemployed and absolutely useless, so i like to watch others’ achievements and live vicariously through them. or maybe i just love shaun white. uh oh. the truth comes out.

anyway, this week’s TTMG is kind of an olympic edition with two little random thoughts of the week thrown in for good measure.

1. ridiculously long voicemail menus

you can’t just check your messages anymore. you have to choose 7 to delete, choose 9 to save in the archives, choose 1 to replay, to return the message sender’s call, press 8, for more options press 6, and other unparallel lists and so on and etc.

all i want to do is hear my message in 30 seconds or less. sue me.

2. job hunting

i’m not sure but pretty sure this is the entrance to a job fair. but really it’s fairly accurate. this is what job hunting is like. it’s like kissing all kinds of employerly netherly regions.

the worst part is, the job market is so cutthroat that  a simple resume and interview are no longer sufficient. Nowadays, you have to schmooz a cover letter, land an interview, take tests, land more interviews, weave a native american handicraft, sell that handicraft for more than the other candidates are selling theirs for, eat an entire $5 taco bell box, and then sit through a kathy lee gifford album in its entirety.

not even a joke.

3. lindsay vonn

is it just me or is she incredibly arrogant? i don’t think i’ve ever wanted to punch someone so badly as i did the day she won her gold medal. first of all, what a cry baby weiner. second of all, i’m sick of hearing how hard you worked and how you deserved it. i don’t know if you realize this, mizz thang, but you’re at the olympics. EVERYONE has worked their bum bums off to be there.

whatev. i just need a little less of vonn and A LOT more of this stallion:

seriously. magical. ps–dear shaun, can i braid you hair? kthx.

4. people whining about how crappy vancouver is supposedly doing

dude. the canadians can’t control the weather. if they could, they wouldn’t be canadian. they’d be wizards. and they’d most likely reside somewhere in europe that’s secret and mythical.

plus, they came up with this mascot:

c’mon. cut them some slack.

5. the lack of coverage on the random but fabulous olympic events.

one word. biathlon.

dude. amazing. this was on the other day at 2pm, and all i can say is that america sucks for not getting more into this. shooting and skiing? i’m sure it made more sense back in the days when people had to shoot and ski for food, but whatever. this is awesome. why waste it on afternoon tv?

also, curling. i’m not into it, but i feel like i could be if someone would explain it to me.

basically, i think america would benefit from a little less vonn and a little more variety. (and shaun white.)

and this week’s WIN! is brought to you by male figure skating.

because who else can take themselves seriously while looking so outrageously flamboyant? hats off to you, plushenko, for rocking that mullet.

happy weekend everyone. remember to watch hockey on sunday.