Huzzah. The blog is redesigned. Please, save your thankful applause until the end.

Forgive my writerly absence. I was too sickened by the past design to think about posting. But now that I’m back, get ready to live. It’s hammer time but not so much in the mc hammer sense as in the woah, this blog is off the chain sense.

which brings me to a muchly belated things that must go.

1. The phrase “off the chain”

Wait, really? You’re still saying this? Your 1998 yearbook called and wants its phrase back.

2. Mormon Mommy Crafter Businesses

Get a job like the rest of us. Your cheap scrapbook paper crafts are getting you nowhere. Give your husband a deserved break and get a real job because face it: the last thing this world needs is more baby bows and squeaky shoes.

3. Utah Snow Plows

Wait…these can’t go because they don’t exist. How silly of me.

4. People that don’t like the Beatles

There is a special place for you and your ignorant soul in hell. Enjoy it.

5. People that drive their trucks into my place of employment

Don’t get me wrong. I like two week breaks, but I could have done without the looming unemployment.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

I hope you enjoy your mangled Mac Pro that you are too ignorant to use.

Hopefully this year will bring a new blog featuring more than just things that must go. I do miss writing. Dreadfully so. Let’s hope that 2k10 will help me rediscover the writing spark of my youth. We’ll see.

Happy new years, kids.

PS–dear mitch: this is a hint. a cat for 2010 would be greatly appreciated. you know you want one, too. don’t you lie to me.