things that must go friday
I’m not negative. Just sarcastic. There’s a nice, cozy difference.
1. corporate toilet paper
when I say corporate toilet paper, I mean toilet paper found in offices, stores, restaurants, and other corporate america establishments. Like this….
which really equals….
My undercarriage does NOT appreciate you cutting costs on your toilet paper. Spend a little extra and save bums across America. kthx.
2. people who don’t know the difference between your and you’re
Really guys? Did you graduate high school? You did? Well then you should write a book about how America’s public school systems have failed you.
It’s really not that hard. Just Google it. Everyone will thank you when they don’t have to feel embarrassed for you after reading YOUR blog.
3. technologically incompetent old people
you come into my work all day long. you throw your weight around like you are somehow entitled to free IT help simply because you have liver spots and a bad perm. I got news for you. We don’t care that you can’t operate a Mac. It’s the easiest computer to use in the entire universe, and yes, you SHOULD feel stupid for not being able to use one. And NO, we will not set up your email for free or show you how to hook up your family history library.
it’s called google. use it.
4. people that hate pandas
i saw this douche bag on the news today that said pandas are an “evolutionary dead end,” and we should let them die off. wtf? how can this be a dead end?
I personally love paying China $1 million a year per panda to help them do it in zoos. save the pandas.
5. T-R-U-Ks
There’s one tailing you on I-15 right now.
In five minutes, he will pass you very angrily and visibly so you KNOW going 15 over is just not good enough.
After passing you, however, he will find that he has only sped up to stop at a stop light 2 seconds ahead of you. It’s ok, though, because he will be blasting either a.) 50 cent or b.) (insert any obnoxious male country singer here.)
It’s ok. Just take comfort in knowing that he is the REAL “evolutionary dead end.” save the pandas.
Today’s WIN! is brought to you again by awkwardfamilyphotos.com.
It’s entitled….the pacifist:
have a good weekend, kids.
UMM the your/you’re thing BUGS the shiz outta me!! I don’t think there is anything more annoying in the entire Universe, really. How hard is it to ask yourself if “you are” would fit in the sentece? If it does, then you clearly need to use “you’re”…since that is the contraction of you are. If not, use your. It’s really just that simple.
Your Friday posts warm my soul. I love to be sarcastic and make fun of everything. It’s the bomb hizzy.
Amy..
GET
OUT
OF
MY
HEAD!!!
I just had the same epiphany about TRUKS last weekend.. My question is why do you have a truck? Do you really need one? Do you haul things every day for a living? Does it make you bigger in a ‘man’ way? We had some giant DB do exactly what you describe down Main in Logan. There he goes.. and stop..There he goes.. and stop..
Anyways thanx for the laughs!
Ha ha, save the pandas!
ps. my work has good TP. Sometimes i want to steal it so i can save my bum and my costs at home.