hoagies and grinders

Meetings at work=needing to pee desparately and not listening. Oft times I find myself daydreaming in meetings about Patric Swayze and also things that I hate. Por ejemplo…

1. Corporate toilet paper. It’s always on ginormous rolls that are so heavy, the toilet paper breaks when you roll it. I can’t wipe with a scrap. Nor can I wipe with cardboard/sandpaper. My body my choice.

2. People who pretend to know what’s going on in meetings and try to act really involved. I can see right through you, you stinkers. I’m comfortable with my sincere bewilderment and you should be too.

3. Cleaning crews who steal my tootsie rolls.Yeah, my secret stash of contraband midgees? Totally gone today. I’m on to these cleaning crews and their ‘spensive vacuums. I’ll cut you.

4. Shih Tzus. Enough said.

5. Cheap Vietnamese Nail Salons. HAPPY NAIL! Andy, you suck at life, and you will not be doing my nails again.

6. Ford Probes Connie has 900 lb. saddle bags/doors, and every day I battle it…every day. It’s just so hard.

7. Welsh Corgies

This meeting probably needs to be over. I need to pee, and my diet coke is gone. Make that number 8 on the list–empty 32 oz. cups.

Ultimately, life is ok because of this: