If there was ever a 110% bonafide creature of habit, it’s me. Amy Morby. I hang on to habits and routines like my life depends on it, and that’s because most of the time it feels like my life legit depends on it.
I do the same thing every day–eat the same things, the same schedule down to the hour. And when that routine gets messed with or shifted by 30 minutes, I freak out. This is why I’m on prozac, and this is why I’m a recluse most of the time. Sometimes I get brave and break the routine, but the crippling anxiety that goes with that makes it aaaaaalmost not worth it.
I used to hate this about myself. I used to try to fight it and berate myself for being such a weiner. But after awhile, that got exhausting. Almost as exhausting as living the routine itself.
So I did this wild thing where I radically accepted this routine. Who’s to say that it’s all so bad? It’s really not. I stay pretty organized and fulfilled, and really–that ish is up to me and me only, and I was the only one judging it.
And once I started letting go of thinking about the damn routine so much, I just started finding little gems in there. It’s fascinating what being mindful and present can really do for you. I started to really love wearing hot pink lipstick every day.
and getting styro Diet Cokes with Mego.
and doing my gel nail thang every week. (my new fav color)
and then sometimes I found ridiculous things to REALLY brighten up the routine. Like $0.49 refills. Call me crazy, but there’s nothing like saving a daily dollar to brighten that work week.
and tiny little things, like Royal climbing in the closet every time I’d get his food out.
So really, routine isn’t so bad. It’s kind of peaceful if you think about it. And yeah, it gets tiresome, but there’s something comforting about knowing what you’re going to do every day and doing it, finding the little bright spots and things to look forward to on the daily. Plus, there’s always weekends to break it up a bit.
This is all just to say that I realized this week that routine is one of those facts of life that isn’t going to change. And rather than spending energy thinking that I hate it and judging it so much, I let go and just did my thing. Life’s been a lot more manageable ever since.