i hate mother nature TTMG

yes. i do hate mother nature. i hate her for snowing. is this because i didn't cry for the death of all the fallen trees? it is, isn't it, mother nature? punishmnet. fine.

the good news is that come rain, snow, or shine, it's a things that must go friday.

1. affliction clothing

i like a little affliction paired with a little ed hardy. i also love to listen to bush and staind while watching UFC and taking steroids.

i'm mostly just glad that they made a special edition korn tee. i know i can't get enough of trashy 1999 dread-be-locked angst rock.

2. people that leave the "sent from my iphone" signature on their phone

oh ok. you sent this from your iphone. that means you're really busy and important. AND you have an iphone. that's high-rolling, my friend. thanks for finding time in your busy, on-the-go schedule to shoot me a quick email from your car "sent from your iphone."

ps. you can take that signature off. it's under settings. just sayin'.

pps. quit emailing me from your car. you're going to kill us all.

and along similar lines...

3. bluetooth headsets

oh, i get it. you're really important and get a lot of calls, so you need a phone in your eat at all times. i know it makes you feel cool and totally robo cop, but in reality...the glory of bluetooth is long gone.  so if you're wearing it to look cool, you're sorely mistaken.

wired magazine named it the ear mullet. they also said it was the highest form of douchebaggery.

i concur.

unless you're this guy...

the bluetooth headset must go.

4. people that don't use paragraphs

i love reading blogs that don't use paragraphs. i really like reading large blocks of text. i mean, it's really convenient. my eyes like never-ending text. it makes them feel really good. especially when the text is about baby's first rollover or how much they love to watch twilight while baby is napping. paragraphs are really lame, so i can see why people would want to read really long stories that never have a break in thought. i don't like breaks in thought. i like run on paragraphs. in fact, i really like run on sentences, too. heck, let's misuse commas while we're at it. why the hell not. grammar has no place in the blogosphere. who needs it when i'm just blogging about my cute and sickeningly happy newlywed life? i know i don't. in fact, i'm not sure how i graduated high school. but it's ok. the important thing is that i did, and i'm writing a blog to tell the world about just how terrible i writer i am. i hate paragraphs.....i love reading blogs that don't use paragraphs. i really like reading large blocks of text. i mean, it's really convenient. my eyes like never-ending text. it makes them feel really good. especially when the text is about baby's first rollover or how much they love to watch twilight while baby is napping. paragraphs are really lame, so i can see why people would want to read really long stories that never have a break in thought. i don't like breaks in thought. i like run on paragraphs. in fact, i really like run on sentences, too. heck, let's misuse commas while we're at it. why the hell not. grammar has no place in the blogosphere. who needs it when i'm just blogging about my cute and sickeningly happy newlywed life? i know i don't. in fact, i'm not sure how i graduated high school. but it's ok. the important thing is that i did, and i'm writing a blog to tell the world about just how terrible i writer i am. i hate paragraphs.

hint: it's the return button. to the right of your right hand. it just takes one little click.

ps. even better--i love entire blog posts that are not only one paragraph, but all in italics. italics are so fun. it makes my blog look cute. nevermind that it's not very readable. it's cute. and when it comes to my blog, that's all that counts. cute. italics. yeah.

5. people who still use "rad" in all seriousness

i'm not sure what possesses people to still say, "that's so rad" without joking. i mean...i'm pretty sure people my age completely missed the time rad was cool anyway, so wtf? what made you think it was cool to say? did you actually want to sound like a 1995 surfer from "socal" that "loves" punk music and black and white checkered vans? because, if that was the case, you don't sound like one. you're from utah. there are no beaches here. just sayin.

you could prolly say rad for reals if you were this guy, though:

and now for your weekly WIN! pleasure...

bummer. i hate shots, too.

you know what i love that he has, though? chums.

chums like these...

are always a WIN!

so are french braids for that matter.

and lastly, this is why you shouldn't drive a t-r-u-k.

happy weekend.