because winter isn't gone yet

fine. i'll accept it.  it's not spring yet. but let it be noted that that was not fair, mother nature, but whatever. just make sure it's gone by tonight, ya?

that being said, it's a things that must go friday.

1. dr. martens

just because you spent $90 on them in 1995 doesn't mean you have to keep wearing them. and just because they don't look "worn out" doesn't mean they ever will--5" soles of rubber tend to not wear out--but that still doesn't mean you have to keep wearing them. oh, and just because they were your mission shoes and you tracted 18 bajillion doors wearing them and you see them as this massive mormon status symbol, that definitely doesn't mean you should keep wearing them. sure, keep them as a little keepsake, but for crying out loud--stop wearing dr. martens.

unless you want to look like a 35-year-old mormon daddy that served a mission in mexico and now has a job as an engineer, still loves collective soul, has 4 kids, and an overly happy wife. then i guess you could pull them off. just sayin'.

2. velour track suits

similar story. just because you spent $150 on one at victorias secret 5 years ago, doesn't mean you have to keep wearing it. and just because you have one in every color...

doesn't mean you should keep wearing them. even if your bum is juicy, don't tell us so via velour tracksuit. let's leave these to porn producers and women with actual booties, i.e., j-lo, beyonce, and amy morby.

3. advertising with your children

i don't care if your kid is cute-and most likely if you're using them to advertise, they're NOT cute-but either way, i'm not buying it. to me, this doesn't say, hey, he's a  "dependable" and maybe "reliable" and even "family friendly" plumber. rather, this says to me, "i'm comfortable exploiting my children to sell my crappy plumbing business."

4. days we've been married counters

are you kidding me? who cares how long you've been married? oooh you've been married for 1 year, 14 weeks, 2 days, and 18 hours. pin a rose on your nose.

kill me.

5. ridiculous gas station convenience store names

why does every gas station convenience store have to have a name? rainbo mart. fast stop. on the run. and my personal fav, kum n' go.

is this absolutely necessary? i vote no.

since it's snowing outside and we could all use a little humor to get through it, here are a couple of WINS! for your TTMG viewing pleasure.

it's a group shot of dogs in wheelchairs. it's funny.

here's amateur photography at its finest. i put this in here because i believe awesome amateur photography has made the TTMG list before. here's a great example.

i would like to personally meet and thank whoever did this to this vending machine. a little Ice-T? yes please.

and lastly, a classic prank gone horribly awry.

have a good weekend, suckas!