things that must go. january edition.

January is a horrendous month of muck. That's why it's nice to find enjoyment via sarcasm and healthy doses of annoyance.

1. truck balls?

You know.....I mean.....no. it's not worth it. don't even get me started.

2. adam lambert

wtf?

bonnie tyler called. she wants you to star in the next total eclipse of the heart: literal edition video.

3. being poor

i'm sick of it. i want to buy things. i want to be a materialistic consumer. sue me.

i love you, dave ramsey, but right now I don't like you because yeah, i have no job, but yeah, i want to buy a butt load of vintage clothes that aint cheap. crap.

let's just throw frugal living in general in this category. i KNOW i need to save money and i KNOW i need to eat healthy  and be wise and be miserable and wear sackcloth and ashes so i can inherit the glories of heaven, but wow, sometimes I just want to throw caution to the wind and buy a lot of crap. and stay up late. and eat cookies. and travel america in a van. and not use capitalization on proper nouns.

hhh....this is all just because I want to buy an expensive headband that I can't make. Laura? want to help me figure out how to rip it off? you know you do.

4. math

dude. math is the bane of my existence. i don't want to go anywhere near a calculator. i don't even want simple addition or subtraction. and hey, mrs. hall--you lied to me. i never once used geometry, and i hate you more now than i did as an angsty teenager with bad hair and a Rivers Cuomo obsession.

let's just  leave math to this guy:

i want to put him in my pocket to compute complex equations for me on the fly. consider this a formal invitation, sir hawking.

5. Broadway

quit making movies into musicals (legally blonde...cough cough) and quit ruining ABBA (mamma mia...cough cough) and quit making your way onto TV (glee...cough cough).

basically, just quit trying to make me like you because I never will. musicals are an abortion to music. not even exaggerating.

if we have to put money into such things then why not dump it into REAL art like symphonies and operas. i'd even prefer we spend money on karl malone's biceps than broadway. sick.

and this week's WIN! is brought to you by the one and only fail blog:

good night nurse!

have a good weekend.