Friday is a special day. It's the day I prepare for sloth on Saturday. And things that must go.
1. insurance companies
This week I had the privilege of requesting five years of doctor's records from 8 billion doctor's offices just so my potential insurance company could deny me because 5 years ago I decided to go rogue and not eat. Apparently anorexia is frowned upon by insurance agencies. crap.
What they failed to note was that I haven't seen a doctor for it since 2006, proving, in my book anyway, that it's not exactly something to raise my rates over.
The good news is they'll probably deny me coverage because America's healthcare system is seriously awesome. Like, I really hope Obama goes to hell for trying to improve something that is absolutely rockin' awesome and SO fun to deal with. I mean, who doesn't love fighting with insurance companies?
PS--there IS a problem, America, and you're against it because you've never had to deal with hospitals, rehab centers, and mental health professionals. Admit to your alcoholism, land yourself in rehab, and THEN come talk to me about how healthcare reform is unnecessary. And in the meantime, have fun paying for it out of pocket. woot!
2. Kelly Ripa
We KNOW you have great arms and that you're invisible whilst standing sideways, but for crying out loud just put a shirt with sleeves on. Just one. It's January, Kelly. Sleeves are acceptable and fashion forward. PS--your face is all the same color. It's like a mish mash of nasty tanning cream. Gross.
3. cheerleading
what parent in their right mind would think this was a good idea? bulimia waiting to happen.plus, everyone knows tennis players are the hottest. jenny andrus hollaaaa 1st doubles wjhs yeah boiiiii.
also, let's go one step further and throw cheearleading moms in the mix. Just because you cheered in high school and just because you still have big blonde hair and just because you can't get a real job doesn't mean coaching cheer is a good idea. No, living vicariously through your daughter will not help you feel better about your failures in high school. the glory days are over. embrace it.
4. frost on the inside of connie's windows
every morning. without fail. I scrape the INSIDE of connie's windows. are you kidding me, connie? epic, epic winter fail. good thing you so sexay wanna have yo' babay.
5. people that don't like 30 Rock
This show is the best thing that ever happened to television. The Office can suck it as far as I'm concerned. Tina Fey, god bless you. Tracy Jordan, I'm still waiting for that meat machine.
And this week's WIN! is brought to you by the manket:
because sometimes a snuggie just isn't enough.
I wait every week with bates breath for your installments of "Must Go Fridays!". You rock!
I meant to say "bated breath" - damn touch screens!
Amen!! Healthcare really stinks. They also don't cover infertility so for two years while trying to get pregnant I paid out of pocket for surgeries, procedures, appointments, etc. Thank goodness I had a clinic that cut me slack sometimes. We pay almost $600 a month in premiums. How is that not crookery in it's finest?
I burst out laughing at that coat-sack! hahahahaa ha ha ha
I feel like I shouldn't be commenting because my name has no form of "jen" in it like the rest of your commenters. I say down with The Office and up with 30 Rock! I have whole-heartedly converted.
Somebody get me some haaaaaaaaam!