October has come in with a vengeance. Besides bringing delightfully nippy weather, my personal favorite month has also brought a monstrous list of things that must go. You love it.
1. Panhandlers
They make stoplights the most awkward experience of your life. If you're going to stand on a street corner and beg, then at least have the decency to look distantly into the sunset instead of awkwardly and creepily into my car. Your staring doesn't make me feel guilty for not giving you the change in my car that's for Big Gulps--your staring just makes me lock my door and grab my iPhone to pretend I'm doing something important.
2. Facebook statuses about working out/dieting/feeling fat
Are you kidding me? Nobody cares that you woke up at 5am to do P90X and you FEEL SO GOOOOOD!!! YEAAAH!! WORKING OUT IS AWESOME!!!
a.) I'm sorry that you feel you need a pat on the back for doing something you're supposed to do anyway.
b.) yes, you SHOULD be working out, so...we don't care that you are because we all are, too...so shut up.
c.) facebook is not a dieting support group. also, you should probably keep your dieting follies to yourself. kthx.
3. Old Navy
Someone please tell me who thought this campaign was a good idea. I will punch you in.the.face.
also, cardicoat isn't a word, Old Navy. Suck it.
4. Visiting Teaching
No. I do NOT <3 visiting teaching. In fact, I would rather clean the church than do my visiting teaching. Oh wait, you're, right...it IS a good idea to juggle 5 different girls' schedules, tear my brains out trying to make small talk with snooty, rich newlyweds, and then unscrew my smile after 2 hours of sheer Utah Mormon fakery. Awesome. I love it.
Going to straight to hell for that one.
5. Microsoft
Stooping to a whole new low. No, this is not even a joke. Fo reelz. Thank you, Marci, for bringing this monstrosity to my attention. From here on out, you should be downright ashamed for owning a PC. That is all.
This week's WIN! is brought to you by David Letterman.
Instead of covering up a blackmail sex scandal, he set up a sting and threw the greedy CBS news correspondent blackmailer in jail. Sucka! Yes, he may have had sex with girls on the staff, but at least he was straight forward...and at least he set up a sting. You freaky old bastard, you.
Oh, this is classic! I really don't think you could have said it better. I think I will join you in your quest to discover who came up with the Old Navy campaign and seriously punch them all in the face.
You would hate Austin for their panhandlers on every corner. And even not in the corners. Just in the islands in between roads. I at least appreciate the ones that have funny signs. But I still mostly ignore them.
I'm loving your honesty about home teaching, Amy. Lol. And the FB thing, I am there with you, 100%. I hate when people's status are what they're cooking for dinner, too though. Is that really what's most exciting in your life right now? Is what you're cooking your husband for dinner??!! Hmmm.....sad. Ha ha.
That last comment was from me....oopsie.
WOW.. I actually LIKE the Old Navy ads.. I think its fresh and bit 'outside the box' although Cardicoat is a bit lame.
"From here on out, you should be downright ashamed for owning a PC."
Sully.. i am disappointed in your lack or respect. i fear your days at expercom are turning you into a hipster and a judging appleite. please retract your statement so i can feel love again.everything else i agree on, but it doesn't fill the hole you just bored into my soul.
hahahhaa. you crack me up.
now if you'll excuse me, i've got to run and work out. on the way, i'm going to call my visiting teacher and cancel this month. and i'm gonna do some shizz with windows and MS office.
Hi Amy, Can we be friends? I want to snoop on your blog from now on, it is funny. I also hate visiting teaching buuuuuuut all I do now is bake a treat once a month and drop it off with the car still running, love it. Who would not love a treat once a month with no chit chat?
What the shit was that microsoft video? Not only is the whole idea completely retarded but also what is that "party" with just four people. And the people? An old granny, a lady with badly feathered hair, a black man and a nerdy white boy? Wtf?!