Monthly Archives: September 2009

I'm not negative. Just sarcastic. There's a nice, cozy difference.

1. corporate toilet paper

when I say corporate toilet paper, I mean toilet paper found in offices, stores, restaurants, and other corporate america establishments. Like this....

which really equals....

My undercarriage does NOT appreciate you cutting costs on your toilet paper. Spend a little extra and save bums across America. kthx.

2. people who don't know the difference between your and you're

Really guys? Did you graduate high school? You did? Well then you should write a book about how America's public school systems have failed you.

It's really not that hard. Just Google it. Everyone will thank you when they don't have to feel embarrassed for you after reading YOUR blog.

3. technologically incompetent old people

you come into my work all day long. you throw your weight around like you are somehow entitled to free IT help simply because you have liver spots and a bad perm. I got news for you. We don't care that you can't operate a Mac. It's the easiest computer to use in the entire universe, and yes, you SHOULD feel stupid for not being able to use one. And NO, we will not set up your email for free or show you how to hook up your family history  library.

it's called google. use it.

4. people that hate pandas

i saw this douche bag on the news today that said pandas are an "evolutionary dead end," and we should let them die off. wtf? how can this be a dead end?

I personally love paying China $1 million a year per panda to help them do it in zoos. save the pandas.

5. T-R-U-Ks

There's one tailing you on I-15 right now.

In five minutes, he will pass you very angrily and visibly so you KNOW going 15 over is just not good enough.

After passing you, however, he will find that he has only sped up to stop at a stop light 2 seconds ahead of you. It's ok, though, because he will be blasting either a.) 50 cent or b.) (insert any obnoxious male country singer here.)

It's ok. Just take comfort in knowing that he is the REAL "evolutionary dead end." save the pandas.

Today's WIN! is brought to you again by awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

It's entitled....the pacifist:

have a good weekend, kids.

Sometimes Mitch and I spend entire nights playing on our iPhones/iPods. And when I say sometimes, I mean most times. I wouldn't say this degrades the quality of our marriage in any way. If anything, it binds us closer together as we pirate new apps, get giddy about finding an iPhone version of Life, and sit on our green couch being complete and utter nerds together in holy matrimony.

Regardless of our nerdism, we have come across this internet/app time suck morsel that I think deserves to be shared with all of you. All whopping 3 of you that read this blog.

It's called...

Totally looks like

and my personal favorite.....

Don't judge us. I promise we do more than look at this site. and lol cats. It's a disease. Whatever.

This week's things that must go is brought to you by Suge Knight, who I just found out punched Dr. Dre in the face once. Nobody touches hip hop mogul Dr. Dre. Nobody but Suge Knight.

1. motorcycles with tall handles

This might just permeate over to all motorcycles in general, but for now, we'll keep it to ones with ridiculous tall handles. It looks uncomfortable, you look like a tool, and....whatever. you just suck.

2. utah box hair

BAM! you love it. you see it every day, everywhere. especially at Utah State University.

3. commercials that start with "in these tough times..."

a.) we're sick of hearing about it.

b.) quit making marketing ploys off of our economic strife. yes, these are "tough times" and no, we don't want to spend money at your store because you "understand value." You just understand that if you don't tell us you understand value, then we won't come into your store, and these WILL be tough times for you.

4. poodles

hate 'em. get them outta here.

5. car dealer balloons

do these really work for car dealerships? Do I, as a consumer, see these balloons and think OMG I NEED A CAR NOW because this gorilla is srsly luring me in??? maybe.

For this week's WIN!, we've got a special treat brought to us by my favorite childhood friend, Jesse Burrup: